I live in a van in your driveway, Heather

Heather asked me if I wanted to take the dogs for a walk. I thought sure, walks are nice. What I didn’t know is what she calls a “walk” was a four mile hike through the woods. Yeah. Fine. It’s beautiful here. It was a beautiful day. The type of day that should be enjoyed outdoors. Woody had a blast. I think I hid my wheezing pretty well. But my legs don’t work today. I’m calling her Heather because her name is Heather Havrilesky who writes Ask Polly and Ask Molly and a few books, most recently Foreverland. She’s brilliant and funny as hell and I love her. And I’ve been living in her driveway all week.

There was some worry about whether or not her dogs would accept Woody. They’re two bonded girls who’ve decided, as dogs will, that their job is to protect Heather. But while they’re not entirely sure I won’t snap at any moment and murder Heather, they’ve accepted Woody as their very handsome friend who seems pretty good at hunting rabbits. They haven’t caught a rabbit. But with the extra help who’s pretty damn fast, if you ask him, it’s only a matter of time. They’re sure of it.