Quick update

I’ve got one week and three days. So this is just a quick check in because I got mad at something and it’ll be hours before I can write again. And it’s too hot to walk Woody right now.

I saw a quote a thing about substackers using AI. (I think I’m thoroughly on record but fuck AI and fuck you if you use it, for anything.) The quote was, paraphrased, “I have ADHD and AI is like an editor for my thoughts. WRITING IS AN EDITOR FOR YOUR THOUGHTS. It’s the fucking point. We’re fucked. But I can’t get into that or we’ll be here all day. But fuck off with the “I have ADHD” excuse. I have ADHD. Have you fucking read me? This, all of it, it’s ADHD. I write it down to edit my fucking thoughts. The fuck are you writing for at all?

I worried a little, when every comment on that cable guy piece began with “I don’t usually read anything this long, but..” Then I realized. I write in ADHD, and I like it. I sort of reign it in, or try. Not right now. You’re getting it raw. But I do, usually. I try to figure out a balance between tangents and main thought, try to bring it back around, make sure I don’t leave loose threads, and rewrite until the cadence isn’t interrupted in the wrong spots. It’s ADHD. It’s writing. It’s why people love or hate my writing. Don’t use a fucking robot to erase your goddamn existence. Fuck.

Your ADHD isn’t why you can’t write. You can’t write because you’re using a robot to do the work and it’s fucking erasing you. Jesus Christ. ADHD is why I can’t write. Because I got a toll bill and I have a goddamn EZ Pass. But I was supposed to log in and update my plate. I did not. Because when I tried to log in months ago, to update my plate, I got an error message because I hadn’t logged in for three years or something. It said to call. That never fucking happened. Whatever. But you can’t fight the toll charge without proof. And I couldn’t get proof without logging in. So I still couldn’t log in. Had to call. Got the login fixed. But NYNJ easy pass website says to call customer service to dispute. So I called them too. But you just get a fucking clacker telling you to go to the website. Where eventually, if you hit enough buttons, it tells you the only way to dispute is by mail or fax. So I just paid the fucking $80. That I already fucking paid. Fuck you. And now I’m pissed and have exhausted my ability to function. And will not be capable of a goddamn thing for the rest of the day. That’s ADHD, asshole. The bill, the rage, and the fucking ADHD tax I just had to pay because I fucking can’t. See how I fucking wrote it down? Without a goddamn robot? Fuck you.

In much more important news, Woody made a friend this morning. Her name is Moira Rose and she is, true to her namesake, absolutely stunning and utterly ridiculous. But her people, a couple blocks from us, have a giant yard. They bought two houses, rent one, and combined the yards. Woody got to show off how fast he is—extremely. During this display of I’msofuckingfast, he tried to run right over the pond. He still hasn’t learned he’s not actually fast enough to run across water. He will keep trying. Moira couldn’t quite keep up, but that’s the way Woody likes it. To show his appreciation, he tried to teach her how to hurdle a row of pea trellises. She showed him how to dig under a log. He was deemed a perfect gentleman. The humans traded numbers.

Continued after a paywall and a picture of Woody…