27 Comments

God, you nailed this!

Twitter is an outrage machine. Instagram is an envy machine. I don't know what Tik Tok is. My kids keep sending me links telling me, this reminded me of you. And it's a goth girl riding a pony. Or a guinea pig rolling off a couch. I know I need to quit Twitter. It's making my hump ache.

That said, I'm still laughing at 'lawyer island'. Kinda makes the whole thing feel worth it.

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"We’re thin-skinned and everything hurts and we let it and we write it down." I don't think I've ever read a description of a writer that has felt so deeply relatable. Thank you.

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"say something funny or incisive (though I’m not generally either) " -

Yes you are - generally both.

Love your work...

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If I had to post on ticktock it would definitely be 100% dog antics.

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All this/all that you say/said is why I never say anything. I just read you. Yours is the most satisfying. My brain absorbs your shit. I feel fulfilled.

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I will follow you pretty much anywhere you want to write. This post holds all the reasons why: intelligent, perceptive, brutally blunt and risky because you are right - no one wants you to write about the motivations of the socials or how publishers struggle to figure out what makes books sell.

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Hi Lauren. I followed you first on Twitter, then I bought your book, then I became a paid subscriber here. I hope it helps. I agree that Twitter can be a cesspool and an echo chamber, but it also provides a much broader range of personal insights into news that I can't find elsewhere (at least in discoverable doses.)

Yeah, it sucks that newer authors must spend so much time on social media promoting their books. Some authors I like turn their feeds into nothing but a series of "buy my book" ads. But I get over it. You're also dead-on regarding how women are treated online much worse than men, be they authors, actors, elected officials, or most anything else. I always keep in mind that "the comments" are not filled with happy people.

You don't need any advice from me. Please keep writing whatever suits you.

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Thank you.

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I like your book very much, and your sub stack. Keep writing please!

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Same here! Keep going!

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so damn spot on

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Fantastic. As a FB refugee and failing Twitterer, this hits on so many levels. I hate conflict, refuse to give what the platforms want, and reside in nowhereland, which is fine because I’m used to it. I hide my work because the heart of it was stolen by a false friend several years ago. Please keep speaking for those of us who are not as resilient. You give me the courage to write. Thank you.

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I feel like an "emerging writer" turtle-poop, afraid to come all the way out with that writers-gotta-engage-on-Twitter talk. I hate Twitter. But you got the real shit NYT's bestseller under your belt. Can't you tell Twitter to pound sand now?

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God I wish. Not until I get this going a little better. I'm not sure what the number is. I'll know more when I go to submission with the next book.

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Reminds me of one of the ways I found I wasn't cut out for sales through a job at RadioShack (RIP), where I was so bad at selling that a lady in a fur coat came in to buy an antenna while — funny enough — her cable was out, so I show her the least expensive one (because rabbit ears are all crap anyway) and tell her that if she saves her receipt she can return in within a month for a full refund. (Yes, we worked on commission.)

I follow you because of your authenticity and humanity and thankful you don't have random takes on which random Kardash!an did what or food critiques. (Incidentally, I am sorry I am now blocked on Twitter! I sincerely hope I didn't earn that by inadvertently making a rude comment or that whole dust-up by Mardoll, which I hadn't understood at the time. If so, please accept my apologies.)

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Lol. I got written up at home depot for telling someone she could return the ladder she'd only ever need that once and had no place to store.

(Also, sorry. It's an app, blockparty. It got a little aggressive during the Mardoll shit. Fixed now.)

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See, that's REAL customer service! Letting people know they can "rent" what they don't need.

(OMG, thank you! And I'm now a lot more circumspect about RTs in general.)

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"I got an advance I’ll never earn out"

HELL yes. Get that bag, Lauren. More power to you.

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I definitely have a neck hump. I saw over summer that I have sun spots/freckles back there. So I am becoming a pinto pony. Maybe an Appaloosa. Twitter will not find that sexy. IDK. People suck. xx

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OMG I feel this in my soul. I am so tired of the social media "game." I loved IG, then they changed the algorithm. I actually like Twitter, but I can't get the followers. I just want people to read my shit and then communicate with real friends and family on social. Isn't that was it was supposed to be for???

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It was. But publishing has no idea what sells book. No one does. It's a pain in the ass.

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I had lunch with Joyce Carol Oates a week or so ago. She's nice. All the bad women I know from Twitter are.

I think the worst part of being a writer has been watching people I met before we were published "put on the face." I used to know people, now they're brands.

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Yeah you kind of have to be to exist online. It sucks. Tell Joyce I adore her.

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I will, next time I see her. Which could be a while. I should gift her a subscription to your substack.

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