This was beautiful, Lauren, even though the topic is so upsetting. Obviously I’ve been following this whole situation and I am shocked people don’t see through Daniella. She isn’t well. She doesn’t know how to give a heartfelt apology or any apology. She goes into attack mode, somehow manages to promote her book while she does it, attacks some more and then reiterates that she’s a cult expert.
She deleted my comments and blocked me when I defended you a few months ago, and she seems to do that with anyone who calls her out. If she didn’t have people following her and buying into this idea that she’s honest and brave, I’d feel badly for her. But as it stands she’s a danger to people, and I know that’s why you’re posting about something that isn’t comfortable, and putting yourself back in the line of fire. And it’s good of you, and everyone here has your back. I hope Vanessa feels supported, too.
I needed to read this, at this very moment in time, as I recently blurted out to my husband what had happened to me in foster care. Thanks very much for sharing.
Thank you! Very true and poignant words. I really didn’t want to get into anything with D but she has consistently spread sweeping statements about us as a community and this was one step too far. Own your mistake and do not taint us with it.
Thank you for the push. I was wavering on whether or not to post and you know how complicated it is. She’ll turn it into some dipshit narrative. But you were right to speak up. And I think there’s gotta be some sort of power in us standing together. (Really glad to see you here btw!)
Yes, sadly taking a stand against a fellow survivor isn’t one I like to be a part of and I’m not looking forward to the backlash. I’d rather we work together but she’s proven time and time again with inaccurate data and sweeping generalizations that she has no desire to even hear other opinions and she shot herself in the foot when she put out there that we were ‘all messing with each other’. No hunny, I was hugging and comforting my friends, and would never have dreamed of touching them in any way… precisely because I had that happen to me at age 4, and even as a child or teenager, would never have had the cruelty to inflict that level of trauma on another person. What an insult to insinuate that your actions and screwed up behavior (granted, probably caused by the environment… but is it?) was generalized and common behavior. I’m glad we both spoke up. You can’t silence the truth for long!
Thank you for your courage in writing this. It takes speaking out and speaking up with the truth, even if perpetrators deny, cast blame, and attempt to shame and shun. You have my admiration and my support in whatever I can do. I am a child sexual abuse survivor.
Thank you for addressing her misrepresentation of other survivors. It’s beyond disappointing to see another missed opportunity for humility and genuine remorse in this world. Instead, she chose to compound the hurt even further. All she needed to say was something like, “As a teenager, I was figuring out my own boundaries, and in that instance, I let poor judgment take over. I never realized how my actions were perceived. I’ve learned a lot since then, and I’m deeply sorry for the hurt I caused.” That simple acknowledgment would have gone a long way and she could have been a great example.
Thank you for highlighting that all V was asking for was an apology. It is so triggering to me that DMY's response to a request for an apology (for SA'ing someone! A minor!) is to rage and post and knit and misstate the law and scream.
I seriously admire you and respect you so much for always speaking up when it needs to be done. I know Daniella is unhinged in ways she refuses to repair and that she will use your name to make herself a victim again. Once again, know we have your back.
I saw her name on the title and was like, Oh no, what fuckery has she perpetrated this time. It is universally awful when abuse survivors get dragged through their worst moments over and over, but it must be that much worse when another survivor does it for clout. I'm glad for Vanessa that you're on her side.
This was beautiful, Lauren, even though the topic is so upsetting. Obviously I’ve been following this whole situation and I am shocked people don’t see through Daniella. She isn’t well. She doesn’t know how to give a heartfelt apology or any apology. She goes into attack mode, somehow manages to promote her book while she does it, attacks some more and then reiterates that she’s a cult expert.
She deleted my comments and blocked me when I defended you a few months ago, and she seems to do that with anyone who calls her out. If she didn’t have people following her and buying into this idea that she’s honest and brave, I’d feel badly for her. But as it stands she’s a danger to people, and I know that’s why you’re posting about something that isn’t comfortable, and putting yourself back in the line of fire. And it’s good of you, and everyone here has your back. I hope Vanessa feels supported, too.
The book promotion is obscene. Thank you. For your friendship. For not letting me feel alone.
Always. And same, you’re the best there is.
I needed to read this, at this very moment in time, as I recently blurted out to my husband what had happened to me in foster care. Thanks very much for sharing.
I’m so sorry for what they did to you. I know it’s hard to tell someone you love. But I’m proud of you.
It’s hard to feel proud. My husband tells me the same thing. I picked the right guy! That’s the good news to come out of all of this. Thank you.
You picked a good one. You should be proud of that too.
Thank you! Very true and poignant words. I really didn’t want to get into anything with D but she has consistently spread sweeping statements about us as a community and this was one step too far. Own your mistake and do not taint us with it.
Thank you for the push. I was wavering on whether or not to post and you know how complicated it is. She’ll turn it into some dipshit narrative. But you were right to speak up. And I think there’s gotta be some sort of power in us standing together. (Really glad to see you here btw!)
Yes, sadly taking a stand against a fellow survivor isn’t one I like to be a part of and I’m not looking forward to the backlash. I’d rather we work together but she’s proven time and time again with inaccurate data and sweeping generalizations that she has no desire to even hear other opinions and she shot herself in the foot when she put out there that we were ‘all messing with each other’. No hunny, I was hugging and comforting my friends, and would never have dreamed of touching them in any way… precisely because I had that happen to me at age 4, and even as a child or teenager, would never have had the cruelty to inflict that level of trauma on another person. What an insult to insinuate that your actions and screwed up behavior (granted, probably caused by the environment… but is it?) was generalized and common behavior. I’m glad we both spoke up. You can’t silence the truth for long!
Thank you for your courage in writing this. It takes speaking out and speaking up with the truth, even if perpetrators deny, cast blame, and attempt to shame and shun. You have my admiration and my support in whatever I can do. I am a child sexual abuse survivor.
Thank you. Really.
Thank you for addressing her misrepresentation of other survivors. It’s beyond disappointing to see another missed opportunity for humility and genuine remorse in this world. Instead, she chose to compound the hurt even further. All she needed to say was something like, “As a teenager, I was figuring out my own boundaries, and in that instance, I let poor judgment take over. I never realized how my actions were perceived. I’ve learned a lot since then, and I’m deeply sorry for the hurt I caused.” That simple acknowledgment would have gone a long way and she could have been a great example.
Would’ve been a great response. Would’ve helped so many.
Strong stuff.
Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for speaking out.
I was abused as a kid—badly bullied by a teacher, no comparison—but I can't imagine if someone tried to use that experience against me.
I'm going to share this on Twitter and Facebook.
Badreads is always worth reading.
Hugs and scritches for Woody, please.
Thank you. I’m sorry they did that to you. We don’t compare traumas. Every trauma means something.
Thanks for reminding me about not comparing traumas.
I hope writing about your traumas (and successes!) helps you.
I so appreciate your unsparing (and probably somewhat self-deprecating) honesty.
Thank you for highlighting that all V was asking for was an apology. It is so triggering to me that DMY's response to a request for an apology (for SA'ing someone! A minor!) is to rage and post and knit and misstate the law and scream.
Lady is a narcissist. I am so tired.
I’m exhausted. I’m going back to not watching. It’s all she’s got. Her weird little followers can have her.
She's unhinged. I'm glad other sexusl violence and cult survivors have you in their/our corner. Stay strong, Vanessa. Don't stop speaking your truth.
I know she’s reading the comments here. So thank you for saying this.
I seriously admire you and respect you so much for always speaking up when it needs to be done. I know Daniella is unhinged in ways she refuses to repair and that she will use your name to make herself a victim again. Once again, know we have your back.
Sending love to all the Vanessas out there. ❤️
Thank you. I won’t be watching when she attacks. It’s all she’s got.
I saw her name on the title and was like, Oh no, what fuckery has she perpetrated this time. It is universally awful when abuse survivors get dragged through their worst moments over and over, but it must be that much worse when another survivor does it for clout. I'm glad for Vanessa that you're on her side.
Jesus Christ, that other one. What a shitbag.
I always think of you as a brave and forthright and uncompromising writer, and this is all of those things. Well done, Lauren, and thank you.
Thank you, Benjamin. Truly. This means so much. I’m sorry I don’t have better words right now. Only, thank you.
Thank you for doing this. Can't tell you how much it means.
❤️
Well said. Takes courage.
❤️❤️❤️
I support this! Thank you for being fuckin brave
The KK cannot be the loudest voice in the room. Thank you for writing this and for standing up for Vanessa. ❤️
Love you.
Love you! ❤️
Thank you for helping. Shared.