What if we’re not afraid enough. What if we’re frozen in panic when we should be running in terror. What if we’re afraid of slipping when we’re already falling. What if those rules no longer matter. Those rules we were taught of the what and the when and the how. But what if the rules were broken for us and all we can do is hold on. We’re all heads bobbing in the ocean now. Some of us thinking we’re on a nice swim. Some of us watching for waves. We’re out of time. The current will pull us all under. Cling to a friend or cling to garbage but hang on tight.
Pentimento. The layers of life leading back. The choices we make. Tom Robbins was right - choice is the most powerful word. And we always think we have time. Time to re-right the ship after the choosing a direction. But, time steals some of our choices.
Holy shit. This is amazing writing and made me cry. Trying to say 'yes' as much as reasonably possible these days. Which I guess is my 'getting in the car'. Thank you.
That you found words to capture such a hard, awful, complicated realization! Whew. Your words took me to my own memories of older Jewish European refugees I'd met long ago in Los Angeles' Farmer's Market. How we, their grandchildren, could never get them to register to vote, how useless our enthusiasm/optimism was, and how they never talked about what made them flee. Just how there are times, in all sorts of ways, that: "Walls go up overnight...The last brick set while they slept...Life doesn't wait for our schedules." Yes. The moment forever dividing before and after.
Pentimento. The layers of life leading back. The choices we make. Tom Robbins was right - choice is the most powerful word. And we always think we have time. Time to re-right the ship after the choosing a direction. But, time steals some of our choices.
Damn Lauren - you have a way of putting it down so that the raw feeling and emotion become the reader's. Powerful...
It's always later than you think. ❤️
God damn, Lauren. 😢❤
Fuck, goosebumps from head to toe.
Holy shit. This is amazing writing and made me cry. Trying to say 'yes' as much as reasonably possible these days. Which I guess is my 'getting in the car'. Thank you.
I’m so sorry, Lauren. What a moving essay and also all my sympathy.
That you found words to capture such a hard, awful, complicated realization! Whew. Your words took me to my own memories of older Jewish European refugees I'd met long ago in Los Angeles' Farmer's Market. How we, their grandchildren, could never get them to register to vote, how useless our enthusiasm/optimism was, and how they never talked about what made them flee. Just how there are times, in all sorts of ways, that: "Walls go up overnight...The last brick set while they slept...Life doesn't wait for our schedules." Yes. The moment forever dividing before and after.
I need to get in that goddamned car. Wow. Thank you for bringing this one back.
gut punch, ugh. love this
Right to the heart 😭💔
This made me cry.
Beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you.
❤️
💙💙💙
Thank you for this.