The first thing you need to know is I don’t take edibles. It’s a rule. I have a few rules that I think keep me out of trouble. Two that were important today were: I don’t drive on ice. And I don’t take edibles. I broke the second rule because fuck it, it’s an ice storm and I’m not going anywhere. Which is how I found myself stoned out of my goddamn mind in the deli section of HEB during an ice storm.
Omg ... this is terrifying. Even without edibles why 29 questions in this weather??!! Get your bread and milk and go!!! Alas, I can only do edibles since I have had covid. 😔. I just make sure I am home for the night.
In my experience, edibles are for home use only with some good music or a movie and wine. Interacting with people I don’t know when it’s kicked in is not fun.
Irrespective of the edible--Practice these words: "Pardon me, I have to go." He was excessively interested in making conversation and you didn't owe him that. Acknowledging him is fine; you didn't owe him the "provenance" or your hometown. If you hadn't had the edible, how would you have treated him? I know interactions are different in different parts of US, but he was creepy.
wtf where the hell did i get the good luck to subscribe to this....was just gonna read a few of these and move on to others i plucked from another thread (negotiating Substack parameters is somehow frought with fear i will be charged for subscribing to any and everything while actually writing something stoned that i will regret in the morning, or at night if i wrote it in pre dawn light) but found resonance in the colonoscopy one (i got the kit delivered and for 2 weeks read the detailed directions as well as for an extremely rare hard poop sighting, yeah im old but more and more, by necessity i guess, proud of it, before adding the two part epoxy or whatever and sending it back and damned if i didnt feel guilty smuggling in a box of shit to UPS but it was for a good cause: providing an abbreviated victory lap to myself and those who exclaimed with horror id never had that exam at like 65 that i wasn't gonna die soon, at least from that particular cancer) and now this gummy thing which lacks the shared peace pipe aura of the joint and the ones i get make me thirsty as hell and damned ,like you perhaps, i wonder when they will kick in and like most drugs that make you feel good you figure adding more will only enhance the buzz but actually just makes you negotiate trips to the fridge for Ben and Jerrys Chunky Monkey as if you were on one of those extended Peruvian rope bridges over a chasm of jagged sun-bleached rocks and somehow you sense behind you the malevolent presence of an equally hungry quietly stalking mountain panther.....
Can't stop chuckling. Can't stop loving your words. " ... really popular on the golf course, a real straight arrow, has strong opinions on handshakes."
Ditto. There are only 2 edibles that are tried and true for me, the rest are a crap shoot and definitely not in an ice storm or blizzard. I know Marlborough well, some grgrgr grandfather was the 1st white settler, whose descendants built the Wayside Inn in Sudbury, a little closer to Concord. I’ve got a great story about that but I smoke and feel like I should really stop now.
That is a great sweater!! I've never done edibles. My housemate does them alot, and he's always trying to get me to try them, but so far I've avoided temptation. This is so hilarious though, that I now want to. At home! Not at the store!
That does look like a great sweater.
And one wing of your collar out and the other in is chef’s kiss!
Goddamnit you’re a great fucking writer. Also stay warm please. <3
Lauren, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. (At least, I *hope* you're laughing).
I fucking love you
That was such a great post! Alive and hilarious.
Omg ... this is terrifying. Even without edibles why 29 questions in this weather??!! Get your bread and milk and go!!! Alas, I can only do edibles since I have had covid. 😔. I just make sure I am home for the night.
LOL This is so good Full disclosure I live in MARLBORO for real It's kinda near Concord!
In my experience, edibles are for home use only with some good music or a movie and wine. Interacting with people I don’t know when it’s kicked in is not fun.
Irrespective of the edible--Practice these words: "Pardon me, I have to go." He was excessively interested in making conversation and you didn't owe him that. Acknowledging him is fine; you didn't owe him the "provenance" or your hometown. If you hadn't had the edible, how would you have treated him? I know interactions are different in different parts of US, but he was creepy.
https://youtu.be/fPYf7hcZ740
wtf where the hell did i get the good luck to subscribe to this....was just gonna read a few of these and move on to others i plucked from another thread (negotiating Substack parameters is somehow frought with fear i will be charged for subscribing to any and everything while actually writing something stoned that i will regret in the morning, or at night if i wrote it in pre dawn light) but found resonance in the colonoscopy one (i got the kit delivered and for 2 weeks read the detailed directions as well as for an extremely rare hard poop sighting, yeah im old but more and more, by necessity i guess, proud of it, before adding the two part epoxy or whatever and sending it back and damned if i didnt feel guilty smuggling in a box of shit to UPS but it was for a good cause: providing an abbreviated victory lap to myself and those who exclaimed with horror id never had that exam at like 65 that i wasn't gonna die soon, at least from that particular cancer) and now this gummy thing which lacks the shared peace pipe aura of the joint and the ones i get make me thirsty as hell and damned ,like you perhaps, i wonder when they will kick in and like most drugs that make you feel good you figure adding more will only enhance the buzz but actually just makes you negotiate trips to the fridge for Ben and Jerrys Chunky Monkey as if you were on one of those extended Peruvian rope bridges over a chasm of jagged sun-bleached rocks and somehow you sense behind you the malevolent presence of an equally hungry quietly stalking mountain panther.....
Can't stop chuckling. Can't stop loving your words. " ... really popular on the golf course, a real straight arrow, has strong opinions on handshakes."
Ditto. There are only 2 edibles that are tried and true for me, the rest are a crap shoot and definitely not in an ice storm or blizzard. I know Marlborough well, some grgrgr grandfather was the 1st white settler, whose descendants built the Wayside Inn in Sudbury, a little closer to Concord. I’ve got a great story about that but I smoke and feel like I should really stop now.
PS sorry about the narc in the store.
Perfect description.
That is a great sweater!! I've never done edibles. My housemate does them alot, and he's always trying to get me to try them, but so far I've avoided temptation. This is so hilarious though, that I now want to. At home! Not at the store!