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Great hat!

I had a feeling you'd say something about that Brat Pack "documentary." I kept thinking, they all felt the same isolation yet none of them talked about it? Also noted that the only ones who seem to have moved on and have healthy attitudes about it are the sober Rob Lowe and Demi Moore. Though one could argue that Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwood are the most healthy for having avoided the whole thing all together.

I know about getting stuck on what if's or why not's. It's a form of self-torture the way I do it and I'm very good at it, unfortunately.

As for calling people back, I think the real ones won't take it personally when you don't.

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Yeah I don’t think it’s all that surprising that those who dealt with their addictions have some perspective.

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I’m having my first colonoscopy on Friday and I’m dreading it, so thanks for making me feel better about the fact that at least I’m NOT having a colonography 💩🎈💨

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Oh god. I am sorry for what’s about to happen to you. The upside is you won’t remember much of it.

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I’m told the colonoscopy nap is the best nap, so there’s that 🫠

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I don't think this needs to be said. But while you're high out of your mind, if you were to experience an intense craving for Popeye's on account of not having eaten in 24hrs, do not under any circumstances order Popeye's. You are high. Your asshole has been through enough. Eat your saltines and go to sleep. (It's a really good nap.)

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Good call. I may just write “Do not go to Popeye’s” on my arm before the procedure.

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I don’t even know what to comment on first, I’m just sitting here laughing. The colonography sounds like my worst nightmare. The prep is horrible, I can’t imagine doing that and then having someone shove a balloon up my ass *with people in the waiting room.* That is some fresh hell. The documentary was hard to watch because I wanted it to be great and instead I just kept thinking he really needs a new therapist. And yeah, I related and felt a little repelled because I also get fixated on things and then I’m screwed. I’m like a dog with a bone coupled with an internal dialogue that sounds like Claire Danes in Homeland during a manic episode. It’s great. I did not get my list of things to do in Austin off three alcoholics on Instagram, it was 30k women on Facebook. They were probably drunk, though. And I think I’m going to need to experience Chickenshit Bingo. You’re the best friend I never talk to, and I know where to go when it’s time to hide the body. The hat is fucking fantastic on you. Love to you and Woody.

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All I can hope to be. And yeah, come on a Sunday. September is better. Jay’s threatening to come at the end of July. But the weather’s less painful too.

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Done and can’t wait. I’ll get going on a new list, too, hahaha.

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1. I’ve had colonoscopies every three to five years since I turned 40. I have polyps. The prep does suck balls. I don’t even suck balls.

2. I always had a crush on Andrew McCarthy. I probably shouldn’t watch the doc.

3. I was like Ally in high school.

4. Bob Schneider is probably the only think I want to do in Austin. A show, I mean.

5. I collect fancy hats. Cool hats.

6. I drive a baby blue Ford Bronco Sport. One of the best choices I ever made, except the very back is not roomy enough for an 80lb dog.

7. It’s taken me 61 years to understand when close friends don’t call back. I hate it, but I’m also guilty of it. I just forget.

8. I lost my job last week. I’m still overthinking it. But now my brain thinks the people who don’t like me are probably thinking about how I deserve it, and I find myself wondering if they are right.

Thanks for giving me so much to say back.

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Congratulations on getting the cool truck though. I don’t think it’ll hurt your love of him. I’ve seen a few “poor sweet sensitive Andrew” posts. I have beef with Bob. And I’m sorry about the job. That’s bullshit.

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I'm dying to know your Bob beef! I haven't been a fan or seen him for about 10 years now. I think I got too old for his level of foul.

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To be clear- I NEVER would offer to sign a Texan's (or anyones) hat unless I thought they'd suggested it. Why anyone would suggest this entirely unclear. But when you're swilling white wine spritzers at chicken shit bingo it's a sign that , A) you're in uncharted territory and B) maybe that's exactly where you belong. Drunk in tremendous company.

Keep the words coming man, we need your voice. And your hat.

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Hahaha it was funny as shit.

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I had the baby blue f150 in high school. Extended cab, extended bed. I called her "big blue". Spring break in Galveston and she fit 2 kegs easily. Great memories. Keep looking, you'll find yours.

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I dig the hat. Thanks for the reminder that going back is a bad idea. I was looking at Subaru Brats the other day. Then I remembered what it was like driving cars from the '80s.

They put me on fentanyl for a colonoscopy, and I woke up early and could see the monitor. I thanked the anesthesiologist for showing me what I'd see if my head was up my ass.

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AHHH YESSSSS!! I was watching that fucking documentary (is it though??) and disgusted and irritated and realized that he just played himself in those movies. Bang Ally on a coffin? PROBABLY HIS IDEA! And he has been sober as long as Rob Lowe and Demi Moore yet seems to have missed the whole let the past go and move forward aspect. And darlin', I will be Team Ducky forever, because Blaine is a creep.

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How could anyone not be team Ducky.

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I will shout this to the rooftops every time the subject of colonoscopies comes up, for the uninitiated -- while undergoing the prep, coat your starfish with zinc oxide barrier cream BEFORE you need it. So, so, sooooo long before you *need* it. 🔥💩😭 A bidet will not save you. It's like what power washing an unroofed steam blister must feel like.

A few years ago my mom gave her second husband's youngest daughter my info on FB without telling me. I was so pissed. I was nothing but that family's servant, and the dad made sure to tell me often that I was a bad influence on his son for going out drinking with my friends, legally (18 at the time), while he was taking his 13-year-old ass to bars and buying him beer. Why she thought I'd have ANY interest in talking to any of them is beyond me.

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Jesus that’s infuriating.

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It sure was.

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It’s a really good hat.

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OMG IVe never heard of a colonograohy. It sounds awful! I have to get a colonoscopy every three years which is SO MUCH FUN 😐 but I’ll take it over ever having to be inflated like a balloon WHILE AWAKE 😱

Also… I don’t trust anyone who has never had a crush on Ally Sheedy! 💁🏻‍♀️

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hella cool hat and a great color, too. Thanks no thanks for reminding me to reschedule that colonoscopy I keep intentionally forgetting to reschedule. And hey shopping for trucks is like drinking water when you live in a high dry place: you do it in the regular, like every time you see a cool truck. For me, whenever a solid Ford flatbed drives by. I have a 1990 F350 that barely runs. I don't need & can't afford nothing else. The noisy clunky beast hauls posts and tools around the place and it's not supposed to be on the highway but that's all I need. But I keep shopping.

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It’s a good hat.

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This doc wasn't anything like what I thought it might be. It was stilted and sad. Andrew sorta had an Uncle Rico vibe. (Stellar hat!)

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I feel like I had more visitors when I lived in Chicago, which does make sense, even if the weather is easier here in NC. And I had my list too. It included the Billy Goat Tavern, the Hancock building (view was as good as the Sears Tower for half the price), the Second City, Ed Debevic's, Giordano's if they wanted deep dish, maybe Navy Pier. I was way too poor for the fancy places. At least Chicago is solidly blue collar, so there are tons of great places that are cheap.

Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill is less touristy. People who come to NC on vacation head for the beach or the mountains, not the Research Triangle.

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Yeah that kinda tracks. I get the full court press every time I go to Durham. And sure they love me. Obviously. But I also think they’re just happy to see ANYONE

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Maybe it's disloyal of me, but I just pictured a bunch of desperate Durhamites clinging to your legs, and it is the best thing that's happened to me today

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Cologuard is only for one purpose and I get colonoscopies for a different purpose so Cologuard won't help me.

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Ah fuck. That sucks.

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